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I was having a Lightworker meltdown.
When suddenly you can see the darkness and pain in our world so clearly and right in to your face. Even though you have been always aware of many things not working out on our planet. This time the scale of it, the darkness of it, the seeming hopelessness of it is so overwhelming, so unbearable and so consuming. It makes you feel like a little speck in the midst of this craziness, unable to do anything about it. Ever.
Feeling the excruciating pain and seeing the mess. Crumbling before the weight and enormity of the task we, the Lightworkers, have chosen.
The pollution. The suffering of animals and nature. The suffering of people. The ignorance of people. The greed, corruption, cruelty, control, tyranny. The dysfunctional political and economic systems. The damaging educational systems. The poison in our food industry and medical care. The closed-mindedness and closed-heartedness of societies. The harming conditioning and the far stretching inequality. Being so devastatingly disconnected from Mother Earth and our own divinity and Light…
Overwhelming, paralyzing and extreme pain.
I have always been the passionate believer in the better future, the fierce optimist and the active change-bringer. Yet, even the great amount of Light and Positive change I have witnessed through my work and life experiences - this time, it all seemed so insufficient before the insanity of the current state of the world.
The day when my sense of desperation and emotional pain reached the highest intensity, I knew I had to do something to help me out of this, before it consumed me completely. I always turn to Nature when I am having difficult days and I decided to go for a long walk along the beach.
When I got to the seaside, I was amazed by the softness and peacefulness of the sea, the air and the colours around me. The water was calm and pure. Low, gentle waves slowly moved towards the shore. The sky was of the softest shade of blue, reflecting on the surface of the almost still waters of the sea. You could barely define the line of horizon. Everything blended into one vast space of soft blue and white. Everything was speaking of peace and calm. A complete contrast to the emotional turmoil I was experiencing inside of me.
I found a little island of sand near the shore completely surrounded by the sea water, sat down on the sand and dipped my feet into the cool water. Even though there were other people present on the beach, my little island gave me a sense of seclusion, as if I was in my own little sanctuary.
I prayed for the sea to take my sorrow and pain away, to help me clear my energy and lighten the weight of heavy emotion. I felt the soothing touch of waves washing over my feet. I breathed in the calm of nature with my full lungs and connected with the softness of colours around me. Immediately, my emotions begun to soften, my mind and thoughts begun to clear and my body started to relax and let go of the emotional stress
I felt like declaring loudly – that I unplug myself from the reality of suffering and fear, and I felt my body shift into a calmer state the moment I said the words. I then invited the reality of Light, Love and Connection to fill me and surround me. As it was anchoring into my being, I begun to feel stronger. The veil of pain and powerlessness lifted. My head got clearer and lighter.
The remains of emotional pain were still present in my chest and my heart, but I already felt so much stronger and clearer. Suddenly, I felt something soft brush at my right foot as the sea brought another emerald wave to my feet. I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful white feather touching my foot softly. I smiled with a deep sense of relief and gratitude. What a beautiful sign! My guides were present with me, reminding me that all is well, the world is still turning and all is unfolding as it should.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled loudly and smiled even wider, comforted by the magic surrounding us. No matter what happens in the world, the magic is always there. Present, strong and powerful.
I took another deep breath and felt like I needed to open my eyes and look to my left. When I followed this impulse and opened my eyes I saw the most amazing sight. There was a beautiful swan gliding gently on the waves towards me, rays of sun reflecting in his pure white feathers.
I was in awe from the depth and beauty of this sign. The swan is symbolic of purity and transformation. I had to see it now, when I was consumed by the Lightworker meltdown, struggling to believe in the power of Light.
This majestic bird reminded me that no matter how dark and hopeless things may seem at times, the Light is ever so strong, the transformation and ascension are on full power and the divine design is always in action.
There are underground currents of most sophisticated divine intelligence always at work and always in charge.
The mysterious and often so very subtle workings of the universe never stop moving and shifting our reality towards the time when All Comes Together.
The universe and the higher will know exactly what they are doing. We are experiencing exactly what we need to experience right now at this time to move us along the Path of Human Evolution.
Wow! This experience changed everything. Shifting me completely out of my meltdown.
In that moment I felt my spirit grow strong and determined again. I became deeply aware of my connection to millions and millions of other Lightworkers all around the world. Shining like beacons, lighthouses, bonfires of most beautiful and transformational Light. Each of them on their very unique mission, yet working together continuously to assist in the shift towards, what we call, our Dream Earth.
I felt the Warrior Spirit being reborn in me again. Reaching a new level of readiness, strength and desire to serve and continue on my path.
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I believe experiences like this are given to us to connect us deep with our human side, the naked emotion and feelings. They break us down, send us deep into the pit of darkness for us to realise the depth and fullness of the divine power and strength residing in our hearts. When we fall on our knees before the fire of the naked human emotion and vulnerability - and we choose to rise up into the Light of our Warrior Spirit, celebrating the row power birthing within us.
You must know that anyone can experience such emotional meltdown. It can be triggered by many different things.
We need to realise that, it happens exactly when we need to face the pain already residing within us and the pain we connect to on the mass consciousness level. So that we can feel it fully, experience it row and bare. Open ourselves and our hearts to the new depth of naked emotion, strip off masks and take down walls we built around us. So that we can appreciate the most vulnerable parts of ourselves and fall in love with them, preparing to share our true, row self with the world.
We need this experience to wake us up to the Divine Warrior Spirit within us. To have the Warrior Spirit be reborn again and again in our hearts, opening us to the next and then next levels of our ability to bring the Light into this world in the most Loving, Compassionate and Heart-centred way. Fuelled by tireless determination and strong belief in I CAN and WE CAN.
We need this experience to help us make the most important choice in our lives – Am I to Be the Mere Witness of Life OR Am I to Take My Power Back and Become Who I Have Come Here to Be?
Spiritual path can be a tough ride at times and yet it is so beautifully transformational and revealing, full of discoveries and hidden magic.
Know that wherever we are at, we are always given the help and tools needed to take us through the experience we are having. The sooner we take charge of the situation the quicker we go through the process.
Know that it is important to face and fully feel whatever your experience is inviting you to look at, heal and integrate within yourself. And it is also important to know when it is time to come out of the experience and take a solid action to help yourself out.
This can mean creating a daily practice to bring in discipline and focus (self-healing meditations, yoga, breath-work), getting physically active (running, cycling, exercising), looking for professional advice (healer, coach, supportive community), finding experiences to help you express/release it all out (scream therapy, movement/dance groups, art therapy).
My personal favourites are nature time to energetically cleanse and get clarity, writing to express and get to the core of what I am feeling and where it is coming from (crucial!), regular exercise to get the warrior spirit moving and sharing with people I trust to get a different perspective on what I am experiencing. Dancing, singing and screaming are awesome too! :)
I wish you a beautiful, Light-filled journey my Dear Brothers and Sisters on the path! And if ever the sky gets cloudy and the stormy weather takes you by surprise – I trust you will be well-prepared to welcome it in with dignity, openness and readiness to heal, expand and learn new truths about yourself.
Be Blessed on your Journey!
Much Love and Light,